That one dude...

So it's the first day of classes and you're excited. It's a chance to start all over with a fresh schedule and a gung-ho attitude towards learning. You get to your class 15 minutes early to prepare and watch all the students, equally as excited, stream in. Thats when he/she comes in: that one person who you can tell right away is going to make this class a living hell. Perhaps its the way he/she looks that tips you off: a wild mane of hair, a shirt that expresses his/her love for video games. Maybe its the way he/she talks: a loud, whiny voice that could give an epileptic a seizure or a speech impediment that would drive the Dalai Lama himself to murder. Whatever it is, you know right away that he/she is going to be a problem.

So class begins and you push those horrible thoughts the back of your mind. Your teacher is unoffensive, the workload, according to your syllabus, seems manageable at worst and you begin to look forward to an easy 4 credits. But God, in his infinite wisdom, would not in his wildest dreams just plop 4 credits into an average college student's lap. No, that would not do. A challenge must be put forth in the form of an obnoxious, self-indulgent, socially inept oaf whose job is to make as many classes as excruciatingly awkward as possible. So prepare yourself, poor soul, for a semester full of class-interrupting jokes, journeys off topic and emotional breakdowns that make the Hindenberg disaster seem like a blessing.


I'll pray for you, not that it will do you any good...